Dear Husband, Would you like to know what it’s like to be pregnant?

Currently I am 35 weeks pregnant. A few weeks ago my husband and I were spending a few minutes to ourselves in the evening while our 6 year old was asleep for the night. With his hand on my stomach feeling for that crazy baby movement I asked him a question…..Have you ever wanted to know what it feels like to be pregnant? 

He quickly replied….”The way you make it sound…no not really.” I was a little surprised by his response. But I realized almost immediately what he thought I was referring too….the challenges physically and emotionally pregnancy brings upon us: morning/day sickness, back pain, pelvis pain, extreme tiredness, weight gain, limited wardrobe, food aversions, mood swings, swelling, constant worrying, and if someone could invent a device to raise you out of bed 5 times a night to go to the bathroom that would be amazing!!

But if you can look past that pregnancy is beautiful. So I explained…..

“No not all that other “stuff” …have you ever wondered what it felt like to grow a human being inside of you? To have your body go through changes? To feel the movement? To have to to care for and love someone before you even see them?”

Thinking this would change his answer I was still surprised I got a simple “NOPE” as a second response.

For whatever reason I thought about this conversation for the next couple of days. Call it pregnancy brain but I finally got it! I realized my husband was going through his own pregnancy experience. All the highs and lows and ones that I would never get to experience. Sure pregnancy has aches and pains for me but he was the one:

  • Hanging out with me sick in the bathroom for hours at a time
  • Waking up when I do to help roll me out of bed to go to the bathroom at night
  • Running to the grocery store early in the morning and 10pm at night for food cravings
  • Teaching my 5:30am early morning classes on nights I was up all night sick
  • Building a bunk bed so that the girls could share a room
  • Building a crib
  • Listening to my complaints
  • Rubbing my back and feet when they ached
  • Not negotiating any time spent with our daughter Iris while working a full time job and 2 part time jobs
  • And if you want to hear a story ask my husband about my “BEFORE IVY” list I created of things I wanted to have done before she arrived that basically had tasks on there I couldn’t do like; painting our bedroom, 2 bathrooms, shampooing carpets, putting in new flooring in a bedroom, organizing the basement, moving furniture……..gosh my husband is a saint and did it all while NEVER complaining…..and of course I realize now that my requests were a little ridiculous!

So while I was loving and taking care of someone I haven’t met yet so was he. By doing all of these things for me he was showing love to our unborn child. He was picking up the slack from my limitations because of his love and want to grow our family.

There has been times that I have felt like a burden to him from not being able to contribute to our household needs or participate in family activities in the same way. It wasn’t until the week we took a week off to spend time as a family together before the new baby came that I realized as I sat on the sidelines spectating him and our daughter play in the pool what he also gained with our 6 year old during this pregnancy. From taking her on her first roller coaster, teaching her how to ride her bike without training wheels, swimming, going for runs together. They got to do this all alone together creating an even tighter bond.

Dear Husband, Would you like to know what it feels like to be pregnant? I get why you don’t! You have enough going on taking care of your pregnant wife, daughter, unborn child, and everything else in between. I love and appreciate you all the more!

Ask me if I want to know what it is like to be you?…..Nope! I’ll take the job of carrying the child! Besides, once this new love arrives we become an equal team once again doing things in our own way to care for our family.